I dont know what I want to do.

I know what I would like to be. I want to be successful, smart, educated, fit, captivating, creative, engaging, compassionate, fulfilled, challenged, and loved. Why is it that I resist taking the step so much? I am definitely afraid of failure and my childhood has made me despise hard work. I need to find the motivation to succeed. I need to find my pathway. I must do this.